Happy New Year to all you awesome readers of The Scoop! I thought I’d take a break from answering questions and do a special post welcoming 2018 instead. And boy, am I ready for a new year.
2017 was a difficult year for many, myself included. I went through euphoric highs and heavy lows. It was a season of hope and crushing disappointments, searing emotional pain and transformative spiritual growth, and overcoming crippling fears. I was both sides of every coin. I was all the colours of the Rubik’s cube. I felt every feeling and, most importantly, instead of running from it, I allowed it.
Now, I’m ready to feel light again.
Every January 1, we are inundated with talk of resolutions. From headlines to conversations around us, the essential questions are: How is this year going to be different than the last? How will it be better? How will I be better?
There’s a growing cynicism and weariness with new year’s resolutions. Yes, it’s true that most of the time they don’t work and that we’ll most likely revert to our old, familiar and comfortable ways within the first two weeks of January.
Yes, it makes perfect sense that it’s simply an arbitrary point in time. Of course I know we don’t have to wait for the start of a new year to do better. It’s like always waiting to start a diet on a Monday. I know that it’s irrational. And yet, there’s something comforting about it.
However arbitrary it may seem along the eternal path of time, we can’t ignore that our lives are structured by recognising that a new week starts with Monday, and a new year starts in January. They are markers of time, like chapters in books. With the end of every chapter is a good time to reflect. And with every new chapter, is the promise of a different story.
So here are my resolutions for 2018: my hopes, my aspirations, my #goals.
I will fall back in love with myself, with the world, and with life.
It’s not that I ever stopped loving myself. But like in any long-term relationship, you slip up and take the person you love for granted. I love myself, but I’ve been taking myself for granted. I haven’t always cared for myself. I haven’t been appreciating the things that I do. I’ve stopped discovering new and wonderful things about me and about the world. As I got older, I became more set in my ways and closed off to new experiences. I’m too sure of what I like and don’t like. And I don’t think, at the age of 36, I should be so confident that I have myself entirely figured out. So, in 2018, I will try to be more open and receptive to whatever comes my way.
I will conscientiously always honour my body.
As a woman who, literally, does not fit into conventional size standards and ideals, I have to work harder to consistently love and appreciate my body. In 2018, I will not tie my worth to a number on a weighing scale. I will listen to my body, and nourish and care for it in the way that it needs. I will no longer hate on any part of my body. I will remember to be grateful for all the things my body allows me to do. And when the negative inner voices come and try to tell me there’s something wrong with the way I look, I’ll hear them, then I’ll laugh and tell them they’re crazy because I’m hella cute.
I will avoid people that make me question my own magic.
As I practice unconditionally loving and appreciating myself, I will also surround myself with people who appreciate and celebrate me. I will stay away from people who make me feel like I’m too much, or not enough. I want to be around people who believe in me, people who support my dreams, people who look at me like I’m magic. I want to be with people who believe in their own magic, because the only people who are not threatened by others’ power are the people who know their own. No more discounting myself so that people who can’t afford me, can have me. Nope, not in 2018.
I will let go.
I worked very hard at non-attachment in 2017, but this is such a hard one. Trying to let go of something that means the world to you is really freakin’ hard. There were times I thought I’d figured it out, only to have it all fall apart in the next moment. But what I can tell you is that, in those moments when I thought I’d reached zen and the peak of detachment, it felt like the burdens I’d been carrying were gone. My heart felt light. I was able to appreciate people and situations for who and what they were without the need to hold on. And that is a feeling worth working towards.
I will ignore resolutions and trust my process.
Because it’s easy to be overwhelmed by all these crazy goals and expectations I set upon myself when a new year comes around. And it ends up being harmful instead when the failure to reach my goals makes me feel worse about myself. It’s good to set goals, and it’s good to keep the goals measurable and realistic, but it’s important to remember that life is just not that neat. We can plan all we like, but life has a funny way of NOT working out exactly the way we want it. So, I will trust my process. If deep down, I’m not ready for the next step, that’s ok. One day, I will be. Trust.
So here we are, 2018. Another opportunity to start over. Whatever’s gone down in the past: mistakes, hurt or pain, here’s our chance to try again.